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Oh, the number of dumb blondes, brunettes, redheads and Netflix and chill hookups that I obtained on Tinder or Craigslist. Some jealous douche even sprayed bang bus on it once, while I had been researching in the toilets of the university library in Cali. It was hard getting the stench of pussy from it. Some people even believed I offered fish!

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3 Tips from ThePornDude’s Get Laid guide.

1. Liquor! However awful or retarded you are, there isn’t a better wingman compared to alcohol. Booze who bitch up and with every glass, you’ll appear more magical than George Clooney, rather than this Mr. Bean type which you truly are. 2. Rent a Lambo for a day! Hey, it might sound expensive, but I guarantee you that you will have the ability to get any slut that you would like, if they see you arrive in a supercar. She’ll be afraid of losing you to a different gold digger and give you access to her pussy the identical day without doing any attempt. You’ll save time, cash and have a 100% success rate! 3. Chicks dig the typical contemporary Millennial douchebag and may ‘t resist the allure of this type of bad mannered macho that sends them dick pics as a pickup line. Narcistic assholes that treat women like a piece of meat will only make them want to fuck you longer. Stop being the great man, be an alpha and escape the friend zone!

Only don’t forget a pack of condoms. I don’t want you to have unprotected sex and allow some horrible slut infect you having an STD. Oh, and remove your socks, since women hate stud!

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